you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
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Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
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Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize