Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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