ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
