WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
