I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
You work out of a Hotel?
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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