woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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