try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
