my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
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