I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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