Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
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My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
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Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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