did you get engaged???
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
