Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
pop tarts are not kleenex
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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