turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
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