508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
