does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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