And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
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SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
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It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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