Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
