Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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