Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
