hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
We named our party play list daddy issues
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Randomize
