is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Randomize
