Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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