who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
