I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
hell yes lets make some ravioli
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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