So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
