She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Randomize
