32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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