your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
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