yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
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