i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
