I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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