Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
