we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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