I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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