Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
