is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
