I don't remember. Are we still dating?
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
