some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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