summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I am available for nakedness
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
