I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
