I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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