I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
