i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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