what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
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