Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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