Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize