he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
