I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
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