You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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