Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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