whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
