I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
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