I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
So squirting runs in the family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
not ubering you a puppy
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize