dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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