We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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