then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
