I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
