your thong is hanging out like whoa
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
