Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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