I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
