I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
