We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
