Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize