I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize