So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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